Botoxlove's Blog

Does it mean that you dress 'unique'? That you speak differently? That you look different? That you have 'lived through things others have no concept of '?
Today, as I was walking down the main 'street' of the shopping centre, I saw a group of 'emo' kids that to me, looked like they had read a how-to book on how to dress 'unique'. They all had skinny skinny jeans on, tight black band shirts, short-ish black hair, complete with side bangs that covered one eye and chucks. Now, I can't exactly judge people by how they look because that is one of the many things that I despise in a person, but when talking to an 'emo' friend of mine, I asked him 'why do 'emo' kids wear the clothes and make-up that they do?', When he replied 'To be unique', I finally got my anwser. All of the sub-cultures around now-days have one thing in common: they all want to be different. The contradicting thing about this common practice is the fact that in order to be different, you need to find something in yourself or others that no-one else has. Whether it be a different sense of humor or some other aspect in your personality, you can then call yourself unique.
The thing that gets me is that everyone claims that they are oringinal, even when they get their fashion ideas straight out of a magazine, when they dye their hair just how they saw Nicol Richie dye her hair or even when they write their 'about me' on myspace, based on the lyrics to a song they never even wrote, or they saw it on someone else's myspace page.
Now, I definately don't claim to be entirely original, I mean, I do buy my clothes from popular shops and trawl through fashion magazines, looking for the 'perfect' pair of shoes. But the one thing that I do claim, is that I am myself.
Whether it be that I laugh with my eyes closed or write blogs that I know not a single person is going to read: I still persevere in the hope that one day, I can change someone's life. Or at least, attempt to.

xo, Tea.

I'm sick yet again. Not throwing up or anything like that, just coughing myself half to death. Hence the reason I am living on coffee and coc-cola just to keep myself awake so I can re-live another day at school, basically the same as the day before.
I've been so busy lately, everyone is pushing to know what I want to be when I leave school, what subjects I'm taking, what courses I'm doing, where I am doing work experience, when am I going to get a job.. everything seems to be going so fast, I mean, I'm only 14 and I already have to start thinking about what I want to do, what courses I'm going to take... having to get my resume organized.. just everything is crazy at the moment.
But other than that, I have been so excited! I got invitited to enter an art exhibition so I'm entering two photos in the digital photography section and a couple of drawings and a painting. I'm really pushing to get it all finished in time!
At the moment, I'm trying to organize the photo shoot with my friends as I'm doing a very 60's a la Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol photo. Complete with sitting around an old coffee table, playing scrable in our 'Edie Sedgwick' clothes ( and beehives of course.) For the other photo, I'm thinking about getting my friend to stand alone in an abandoned laundromat standing by an old washing machine, all in black and white of course. I'm thinking a kind of Green Day 'Jesus Of Suburbia' video kinda vibe. Very dark and rebellious, almost gothic.

Anyway, off to go do my assignments.
xo, Tea. 

haha okay well mayybbeee I'm not crying but ya know, I like that song! LOL
I had thee best day ever!
people came over and surprised me, got some money for AMERICA next year, got chocolates YUMM.. I got heaps of stuff!!!
I have been waiting for soo long for my birthday!
and now, I cant wait till christmas!

anyway,
wish me a happy birthday!

xo.

okay, so I was watching the new Fall Out boy video clip and it featured children from Uganda ( I think) and facts about how children get abducted and forced to fight as soldiers.
It literally nearly moved me to tears, seriously.
I know that sounds lame but whatever, it was so moving and inspirational.
We as people living in America, Australia, Europe and so forth have so, so much to live for.
I know that there is still people living on the streets or in shelters but it is nothing compared to the suffering these kids go through just to get food, DIRTY water and shelter for their families.
We have easy acess to CLEAN water, food, shelter and medicines to treat infections and ilnesses.
These kids have absaloutly nothing!
At the end of the clip, it mentions a website, www.invisiblechildren.com
Once I visited this website, I found out so much information about this topic, it literally inspired me to write and to attempt to make a difference.
I know I am not Jeffree Star or Raquel Reed who's blogs get mountains of comments and views and I know that nobody reads my blogs, but its NOT going to stop me from trying.
I really want to make a difference in this world, I knowit sounds cliche but I really do believe that just by inspiring one single person, they could inspire thousands.
I just wish that people like Jeffree would actually take the time to mention these issues and raise awarness just liek Fall Out Boy did.

Please, take the time to visit this site, learn about all you can and actually write about it, mention it, google it whatever.
Just try and make a difference.

much love,
TJ

xo.

is the worst time to be awake.
my hair looks like a troll doll, I'm wearing a T-shirt that probably hasn't been washed since god knows when, I am eating dry cornflakes covered in honey and I am pissed off at my best friend.
WHAT A GREAT START TO THE DAY!
oh well, I'll make the most of the day since I'm not at school :)
might go shopping with mum... haven't really seen her in ages, she works all the time!
We should go to knox or the city.. have multiple cups of starbucks coffee and then spend our little hearts out using her credit card of course XD.

anyway,
I'll put an end to this pointless journal.

xo.

well, the other day someone called me fat (right after I wrote that blog) and now I'm really paranoid.
I haven't been eating at all and I have weighed myself about 50 times, literally!
I am so so so scared that it's going to happen all over again but I just cant eat!
someone help!
I dont want to end up in ehab!

xo.

Trust me, I would know!
I haven't really told many people this but now, I have decided to share my story to everyone so hopefully, I can try to help someone out there.
Through from grade 4 to grade 6 in primary school ( I was about 9 in grade 4 and 11 turning 12  in grade 6) I decided that I didn't want to eat my lunch at school.
At first, I didn't think that I was fat, I just didn't want to eat in front of people.
After a while, I began to get used to being hungry all the time so I thought 'Oh, I don't have to eat, I can go for ages without food!'.
From there, whenever I looked in the mirror, I saw something that others did not see.
I saw someone that was fat, disfigured and short.
When in reality I was not fat and I was not short, I was stick thin and quite tall for my age.
I kept not eating and starving myself for long periods of time because I decided that I wanted to be a size 6 (in kids clothes) when I really should have been a size 10-12.
In grade 6, it reached its peak, I had gone for 2 years without my parents noticing anything.
I hid my food from them so they thought that I was eating but really wasn't.
When my parents actually noticed that I was losing weight dramatically, they went to talk to my teacher at the time and asked her whether she had noticed anything strange going on.
She said that she hadn't seen me eat my lunch for a while so then my parents decided that something was wrong.
They took me to the doctor and he said that I had mild annorexia and that if I wasn't put on vitamin tablets and so forth that it would become very severe and that I would most probally have to go into rehab clinic for young girls suffereing from eating disorders.
After about 6 months, I began the put back on the weight that I had lost so that I was healthy again.
I got down to 29kg at my worst which is about 20 kg less than I should have been for my age and height.
I am now healthy and everything which is great.
I really want people to realise that being a size 4 is not cool!
Being that skinny that you faint is not cool.
Being that skinny that you resemble more of a twig than a person is not cool.
Being HEALTHY is cool.
Being able to muck around with your friends is cool.
Being able to go to lunch/dinner and not having to order salad with nothing but lettuce and no dressing is cool.

anyway.
much love!
TJ
xo.

everyone, everything and every action that you take is a just carbon copy of what someone else before you, has done, has said and has been.
I read that quote on someone's blog and it literally inspired me to write.
I don't know why or how but it really did.

People judge you for what you look like, how old you are or your sexuality, not who you are as a person.
I, for one, am 13 years old, I have freckles and pale skin, I have curves but I am skinny, I do not have perfect teeth, I am tall and I am in year 8 at school.
After that statement, what do you think of me?
That I am some dumb little girl who knows nothing about life, who knows nothing about being 'different', who knows absaloutly nothing at all except for who is making the latest sex tape or what Paris Hilton is wearing.
Those words are not who I am at all.
They are a generalisation of a 'normal' 13 year old girl.
Who in actual fact, is not normal at all because other peoples definition of 'normal' is so twisted and manupliated that there is no such thing anymore.
You're either too fat or too skinny, too pale or too tanned, too tall or too short.
There is no such thing as a 'normal' body, a 'normal' person.

People these days represent one thing: vanity.
Again, that sounds like a generalisation of people that may or may not have any idea on what 'vanity' even is.
We pay money to be 'perfect' but on the inside we are the same twisted, confused and hurt person as we were before the surgeon sliced your breasts open and shoved a silicon implant inside before getting his nurse to sew you back up again.
I must admit, the idea of going to sleep and then waking up with a brand new body/face is quite intriguing, although I know it only represents the fact that you have no self esteem or sense of self and that the way you were born, the way that you developed was never good enough for todays standards.

You know what? This blog probally doesn't make sense but it does to me and I really do hope that it does to others as well.
Its probally just me ranting on about nothing but I really do hope that one day people will realise how twisted and manupliated other peoples idea of 'normal' really is.

With Love,
TJ
xo.
 

Ever since my baby brother has been home from hospital (he had pnemonia and influenza B) I have started to realise the things that are really important in life.
No, its not about having the coolest new clothes, having a sidekick and a bright pink hair straightner..
It's being there for the people that you love, and that love you in return.
It's respecting people.. even if they do the wrong thing or do something that you don't like.
It's being able to put your trust into someone else's hands. It's the best feeling knowing that someone you love will do anything to not betray your trust.
It's understanding others,why they are and who they are.
It's accepting everyone, no matter what they look like, what they are into, who they are into for that matter and whatever they have done in the past.
It's listening to people and their views on things.
It's laughing and being able to have fun and smile, no matter what is going on in your life at that point in time.
It's not wanting to grow up too fast, even though some are forced to.
It's about living for the moment and not holding back because of what people might think of you.
It's about being yourself and having self respect. You have to be able to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
It's about just being you in general. Whether you might have flawless skin.. or freckles, whether you have curves or you are flat. It doesnt matter.
and I guess whats what I'm trying to say.
that it doesnt matter how people perceieve you, it doesnt matter if people don't agree with you, Its about caring and loving the things in life that are important.
 make-up, money, cars, phones, computers, spray tans, clothes, accesories, shoes and salon appointments are all just materialistic things that we could live without if we had to.
But what we couldn't live without is someone that cares for us, someone that loves us, someone that will be there for you through thick and thin.
Most people don't know what it feels like not to have that.
and I'm not going to pretend I don't either.
Because I am extremely lucky in that aspect.
But you do have to take the time to think of those people who don't have that.

xo.

well, after seeing some of the people walking around the shopping center today, I have come to a conclusion:
There are a lot of things in life that I just dont understand..
well the things aren't really in life as such, more like.. what people wear and how people act. I dont mean how people dress, as in emo or scene or whatever, but I mean how 50 year old women try to dress like 15 year olds. wearing leggings with a short skirt over the top when you are not exactly the thinnest person going 'round and your at least 50-odd just doesnt work.
I'm sorry but its the truth!
and plus the 'cake-face' make-up thats been badly applied just makes you look like a old whore!
not saying that they are or anything. Or that I'm judging them. I'm just saying that their outfit doesnt work!
so anyway
I have compiled a list of things that I just dont understand.. GET READY... THERES A FEW OF THEM!

1. why people hate emo/scene kids.
2. Why people try to be someone their not.
3. Why people change who they are for others.
4. Why people trash talk Britney Spears.
5. Why people idolize the likes of Lindsay Lohan ( NOT saying that she's a bad person, she's just made bad choices. and I'm NOT pretending to know the whole story, I only know what the media has commented on.)
6. Why people whore themselves on other peoples pages on MySpace..
7. Why people attempt to dye their hair the same as other peoples..
8. or cut it for that matter.
9. Why people are constantly putting themselves and others down.
10. Why only 'famous' people get mentioned on MySpace and buzznet..
11. Why people are against gay or bi people.
12. Why people look down upon people that dress 'different'
13. Why people hate jeffree star.. wtf seriously.
14. Why people hate paris hilton.. I just dont get it.. are they jealous?
15. Why your considered 'poor' if you dont have an ipod or blackberry.
16. Why people still continue to wear jeans with a denim jacket.. blahh
17. Why people bitch and moan about things I say.. haha GET OVER IT. you'll live.
18. Why people call you a slut if your skirt is kinda short...
19. Why you get called a whore for kissing randoms... oh well. its fun haha
20. Why people hate pete wentz.. his hot okay? and he is a good muso.

anyway.
MUCH LOVEE!
TJ